An Author's Troubles
by Bubblegumz
Summary: A story about a girl trying to follow her dream of becoming an author. And I'm not writing book two until I get five reviews so please read and comment! Warning: Minor course language


Hey guys, I really want to be a published author one day but I'm wondering if I'm good enough because if I'm not I don't want to end up on the street picking crappy cupcakes out of garbage cans. This is a story about a girl who tries to follow her dream, the girl meaning me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!!!!!!

An Author's Troubles

October 12, 4:35 p.m.

I sit at my desk, hoping that someday my life will get me somewhere besides this very spot. Last year my mother told me I had to go to a new school because she didn't like the old one. I liked the old one! This school sucks! She said that my old school was full of swearing kids and people who don't give a crap about the environment. What an eco-freak. People swear more at the rat-hole I'm going to now. I don't really know what to do with myself. I always wanted to be an author, at least now since all my friends have abandoned me I have more time to practice my writing. I guess they decided that if I wasn't going to be there to listen to them screech about things that weren't of my interest at all, they would fine people who would. I guess I have to accept that this is my life now. Why me?

6:00 p.m.

I am so bored. When did my life get so boring? I'm too young to die of boredom! I tried complimenting a girl as she walked by but as usual, no reply. What is the point of being a nice person?

10:00 p.m.

I'm hoping to go to bed now, possibly get some sleep.

10:01 p.m.

A fourteen year old girl needs her beauty sleep! Now sleep!

10:02 p.m.

I command you!

10:03 p.m.

Well this isn't working out. I am too anxious that maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I keep thinking that while trying to trick myself into sleep. Guess what? It worked.

October 13, 6:50 a.m.

Dang, it's early. I didn't mean to wake up so early, but more sleep is physically impossible now. I get up, fill the bathtub with water, get in and sink slowly into the water until my face is under and my bucket of absolutely nothingness (aka my stomach, not an inch of anything! Not just a teensy muscle, please, God??) lifts. Then I shampoo my hair and so on. Go to school.

9:00 a.m.

Well, I've been here all of two minutes. I hate this place. And people think it's easy going to a new school. Think again.

11:00 am:

Poo. Math is so freaking boring. My math teachers likes to be dramatic to her poor, innocent, big-eyed students. She tells us all the time about her travels and her daughter and her constipation problems and becoming a woman and things like that and that woman is just sad. I wonder if she has a cat.

3:00 p.m.

Finally! The torturous prison where they like the keep innocent peoples has let people fly off into the distance until another day (technically the logical term would be school, but what's the point of that it's so old fashioned!)

I'm just sittin' in my room now. Waiting for something interesting to happen. Snore. Buzz. .

12:00

Torture place!  
Oh, just a bad dream.

October 14, 5:02 a.m.

Oh, crap. It's like five o'clock isn't it? Well…I think I'm going to break into song now…my friends do that sometimes, it's so wonderfully random:

Oh say can you seeeeeeeeeee

I don't remember the rest of that song! Skeesh! It's a mix between skadoodles and sheesh, try it sometime.

Okay, um…it's almost Christmas so in that case:

We wish you a merry Christmas

We wish you a merry Christmas

And a happy new year!

That song is really annoying when you listen to you 3 year old sister sing it all day long. She is not destined to be a singer. Well, bath tub time, yay I guess.

7:00 a.m.

See! This is the time I'm supposed to get up! You should see the circles under my eyes! How am I supposed to beat up small children with flimsy arms?? They'd take me down! I'm going to be using a cowboy accent the rest of the day just to let my audience know, 'cause shucks I'm excited well I'd better get on mah horse and scadoodle (I _love _that word!!!) on odda here!

4:00 p.m.

Howdy there! The torture place wasn't too bad today, those mean old teachers are just jealous because they have no life and they're probably going to die soon, well hmph! That's just rude!

7:00 p.m.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha sorry momentary laugh attack, that happens to me like all the time! School is terrible. Especially because of the meaniefaces…but you have to show them you're more than meets the eye! YOU ARE A TRANSFORMER!!!

So anyways someday I'm planning world domination and the meanies will be my slaves and the old men will wish to work at cheese factories. There shall be more cheese. Oh, and by that time someone will have invented a mute button special for parents.

Or high-tech ear plugs.

10:00

MUTE BUTTON! MUTE BUTTON! MUTE BUTTON!

October 15, 4:00 a.m.

Ai! Too early! This is sooo not good! I'm sleeping now, goodnight!

4:01 a.m.

I command you to sleep! I'm gonna eat horse liver if you don't listen to me! There we go. !

12:00 noon

OMFG! I MISSED THE BUS! WHOLY CANNED FLUB IT'S SATURDAY THANK GOD. NO BUS TO CATCH. NO FREAKING TORTURE PLACE. WITH THE OLD…CONSTIPATED TEACHERS.

2:00 p.m.

Aha! Victory is mine! !

What victory you say? Well don't ask me because how should I know! I'm feeling random. Random is awesome. I shouldn't have gotten up so early…today is my famous Saturday sleep 'til Sunday thing. So goodnight. Bye. Z's.

October 16, 7:00 a.m.

Oh…the pain. The torture place again tomorrow. I'm already depressed. I don't even think I told you my name, did I tell you my name? I don't remember. I don't even remember what I had for a dinner yesterday, so who knows! My name's Amelia Bedelia.

Unfortunately, that's not my name (cry cry cry)

My name's Kelly.

LIGHTBULB! TOMORROW I WILL MAKE MYSELF PUKE THINKING OF THE TORTURE PLACE AND THEN CRY BECAUSE OF THE PAIN. CONSTIMPATED TEACHERS AND NOT FUN TO BE AROUND.

THEN MY MOTHER WILL LET ME STAY HOME! SHE WILL HAVE TO BECAUSE GOING TO THE TORTURE PLACE AFTER THROWING UP WOULD BE AGAINST SCHOOL POLICIES AND I SHOULD REALLY STOP WRITING IN ALL CAPITALS BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY FINGERS HURT WRITING SO FAST AND I CANT READ WHAT I'M WRITING.

There we go. Well, I'm tired so I'm going to sleep until tomorrow. Now for my brilliant plan…!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October 17, 10:00 a.m.

Bad news, I couldn't make myself puke but I did make a little bit pop up. I'm going to have to start eating more horse liver.

Bye!!!

4:00 p.m.

Hello. Tomorrow I need an excuse for not doing my homework…my dog ate my homework…we don't have a computer…we live in an alley…my mom doesn't have a phone so don't bather calling her…alrighty this should work! Wait, I don't have a dog! I wonder what paper tastes like…well there's some sacrifices a girl just has to make! I'm going in!!!

October 18, 5:00 p.m.

The paper tasted like coffee and ass. It was weird.

The plan didn't work. But…the good news is constipated teachers are easy to outrun! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA! Now I just have to hide from Cleopatra (mom). She's a wise one, though.

Gotta go!!!!!!!

10:00 p.m.

Cleopatra found me in my special hiding place.

Frumplestiltskin!

Why????!!!!!

Now I'm ground for like a mon---

OMG. HOT GUY ALERT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.

AI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
HMPH.

HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!!!!

IM FA-REAKIN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
WHAT SHOULD I DO

Well, I will never be with him anyways. I'm going to go sulk in the bathtub. With bubbles. And my rubber duckie.

I just got it last night…I got the ugliest one because it looked so lonely :(

He's coming in!!!

Why is he coming in???

Knockedy knock knock

Knockedy knock knock

Someone's knockin on mah door.

I open mah door oh my god it's him sweet baby jesus what should I do?????

"Hi," he said giving me a gorgeous smile. This is ssooo weird.

"Herro."

HERRO? HOW STUPID AM I?!

"Um…yeah. I just saw you up here and I'm stupid I guess but this is for you."

FER ME???

He handeds (ha ha ha ha ha ha) me a rose.

"From you??"

"Uh…yeah. Bye."

"UUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH…"

"Alright…then."

HE JUST _LEFT??_

WE ARE LIKE SOULMATES! HE HAS TO BE MY SOULMATE!!! HAVE YOU SEEN HIS ARMS???!!! SOULMATE!

12:00 midnight

Guess what? He came back and told me I was weird. Supa sweet soulmate. I'm depressed and going to take my bath now. Goodbye :(

October 19, 8:00

I'm so over it now :)

He's just jealous because his life is so boring and sad because his soulmate doesn't care anymore :)

Well, I guess I'm on my way to being famous.

SEE YOU IN BOOK TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
